Leaving Facebook

Thought this was pretty funny and accurate. I wish I had more to say.

Leaving Facebook

Fan Friday 16

it was the last post. Harris Wittels. Funny as hell. It sucks when people you like are as troubled as they are. I wish it was different. Every time he talked it made me smile. I am so sad about all the laughs I won’t have now. It also sucks that it’s hard to imagine him any other way. So many ideas and experiences go into making us who we are. We are troubled (or not) and that is part of how we think. It all goes into making us funny. Or thoughtful. Or nice. Or whatever. The same thing that makes us cry enables us to make us, and others, laugh. I didn’t know Harris. So this is all me projecting myself onto his life. But sometimes we are only able to be as funny and understanding as we are because we also feel the bad way too much.


“‘we’re all trying to avoid thinking about death, that’s why we get excited about these stupid, human interactions.’ – Harris last night”
From Steve Agee.

“You should know that Harris was brilliant beyond compare. That his imagination was without limit. That he loved comedy more than anything.

That his heart was big and he FELT hard. That he was someone who would reach out to tell you he was thinking of you for no particular reason”
From Sarah Silverman



Fan Friday 16

Fan Friday 13: Happy Birthday

Today/aka yesterday is/was my birthday. I’ll say something about it in the next couple of days, I’m sure. Birthdays are… something else. I’ll get into all of that later.

For now, a quick Fan Friday… Maria Bamford.

Get up on it.

She’s a stand up comedian, and she’s been killing it for years.

She’s also bipolar and been very awesomely open about her struggles. It’s in her comedy and she also goes on shows to talk about it.

I loved her stand up for a long time before I knew anything about her personal life.

Fan Friday 13: Happy Birthday

Fan Friday 12: Unprepared

I’ve been pretty good about preparing a post over the last few weeks, but I’m sitting here with nothing to write about. I love a thousand bands and could write about any of them, at length, at any time. But that’s boring for about 99% of the wordpress world and talking to myself about music isn’t the most enjoyable pastime. (I don’t mind talking to myself about other things, which is why I’m okay writing this blog even though I’m never sure how many, if any, people read it.)

Got sidetracked. So what have I been into this week?

Lauren Lapkus

You might not recognize the name, but she was recently in Orange is the New Black on netflix as Susan Fischer, the female guard (and is apparently in Jurassic World). She’s an amazing improvisor and has made a million hilarious appearances on Comedy Bang Bang and Improv4Humans. And was featured on the improv show House of Lies Live.

She’s one of those people you find when not many people know their name and just hope that the rest of the world catches on. Like that little band you somehow heard when all they had were a few demos floating around. I, obviously, have no stake in whether or not she hits it big, but I do want more people like her making stuff. I’d take her before almost any of the comedians in the romcoms that come out every other week.


After killing it on podcasts for so long, she started her own, called With Special Guest… Lauren Lapkus. Every week another person hosts a fictitious podcast and the guest is a new Lauren Lapkus character. She plays everything form a guru to a teenager.

On Comedy Bang Bang the podcast as Traci Rearden (with Adam Brody)


She does shows at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. Which you might know about from people like Amy Poehler, Katie Dippold, Ben Schwartz, Rob Riggle, Paul Rust, Jessica St. Clair, and on and on. Many funny people have come out of the UCB.



Fan Friday 12: Unprepared

Women going Childless… And also me

Edited to increase the adorability by infinity.


This is a fascinating read and you all should read it immediately… or whenever you get around to it, or whatever, do what you want. Anyway, this hits pretty close to home even though it’s all about a woman’s decision not to have children. I hardly identify as a man so there’s not much different in the thought process. I fully acknowledge that women face more societal pressures than man. The expectations for them to have children is massive, and it’s not the same for men. Us men aren’t typically thought of as child loving people, and even when we are, not in a rush to have them ourselves. We are tricked by baby-crazed women or fall back on family life after burning out on strange women and short term flings. That was never me so I recognize zero percent of it, but I do know that almost no one asks me when I’ll have kids like they do with my female friends who have to answer the question nearly every time they see relatives. And when I answer that it’s not likely that I’ll have kids, I’m not pushed much.

But some of the excerpts from this article are not so much about society and more about the internal thought process, which is something I can identify with.

“I was always too self-centered and irresponsible to have kids. I know that never stopped many others, but I am a narcissist with a conscience.”
Debbie Kasper

This is perfect. Being self-centered is usually considered a negative characteristic to have. But it’s not. In fact, everyone is a narcissist to varying degrees. Just ask yourself how much time you spend thinking about your own life as opposed to the other 7 billion people in the world. I’m going to guess it’s not in proportion. What’s important is recognizing what that does to other people. The nice thing about interacting with other adults is that they can typically take care of themselves (more or less). So when I’m going through one of my inward spirals of narcissism, my loved ones keep on ticking, and sometimes even help me through my self inflicted melancholy as I do for them when I can. That reciprocity isn’t a possibility with a three month old. It’s 100% about that child. And it pretty much stays that way for life. Or at the very least many, many years. Your typical teenager isn’t sitting around thinking about the mental wellbeing of their old ass parents. I drop into a self-obsessed depression, I cannot possibly do what’s best for someone else. I refuse to put a child through that.

“It might not be a fear of kids themselves, as in truth I usually get along with them pretty well.

My fear of having children is that, frankly, I just don’t want to love anyone that much. I have my own problems with love, and I have processed and played the same games for a lifetime, but what if I had to do that with someone I actually MADE?!”
Margaret Cho

Again, I can’t fail my potential child. It isn’t a fun, light decision to make. It’s an entire life. Knowing myself as much as I do, I don’t think the risk is worth it. I don’t think my selfish wants or desires should fuel my behavior when it concerns a helpless little human. Are they unfailingly cute? Yes. Does a babies smile reduce me to a puddle of sweetly scented love? Yes. Do I want to hold my little baby niece 24 hours a day until she’s too heavy for me to hold? Yes. Would I love my child? Yes. Can I honestly say I would be able to do my best in raising a child? No. Sure, no one has done a perfect job parenting, but they should do their best. We all know terrible parents. Whether personally or watching parents and kids walk by in the store. Either bad mistakes, or poor decision making resulted in a child living a life he or she shouldn’t be forced to live. Sometimes it’s mean, stupid adults but other times it’s emotionally unavailable, complicated, personal issues that prevent parents from doing their best. (And sometimes their best just isn’t good enough. Mine might not be.) I care about the wellbeing of kids too much to gamble with their minds and futures.


the book sounds interesting. I’d like to buy it soon.


No Kidding: Women Writers and Comedians on the Choice Not to Have Children

Women going Childless… And also me


Someone missed Fan Friday 4 and 5. One was the day after Thanksgiving and the next was a birthday, so I think those are decent reasons. As I mentioned previously, I’ve been inconsistent over the last few weeks. (I blame everyone but myself and hope you all feel terrible about it.)

Easiest way to make up these missed days is to post music. That I will do, but not just music. I’ll get to that later.

First things first, music. This is one of my favorite songs of all time. The band, Refused, recently caught the public’s eye when they reformed for a festival. Word is, they were paid a fair bit of money to play that show. It’s worth noting they were not really popular at all when they were an active band. In fact, their last show was in a basement and the cops were called and turned off their equipment. They broke up after that and sort of grew into legends in the indie/hardcore/punk music scene. In 2003 my favorite shirt was one of theirs that said “Revolution with a catchy phrase” on the back. They remain one of my favorite bands even though they only have one full album that I enjoy. The Shape of Punk to Come, released in 1998, is a masterpiece. It’s more than punk. It’s more than hardcore. It’s fast. It’s loud. It’s angry. And it’s the opposite of all those as well. Musically, it’s complex and diverse. There are jazz breaks in the middle of a punk song. There are electronic beats serving as the outro to track 1. There’s silence. It’s not one note. Not typical. New Noise is their most popular song, but Tannhauser/Derive is my favorite. I wish there was a music video for this so it’s more visually stimulating, but this was all I could find. This is one of those songs that is better louder. It’s a slow burn. I hope you give it a chance.



Fan Friday 5 make up

Who’s ready for some comedy? That song was a little intense. or in tents. Tim Minchin was first brought to my attention by a friend. He recommended I listen to the Storm beat poem that was making the rounds a number of years ago. If you want a bit more serious material, then I highly recommend Storm. I was thinking about posting it, it hits on so many topics worth talking about, but I figured some light-hearted comedy would be better right now. One of his specials in on Netflix instant. It’s long as fuuuuck, but really good.