Stop

Circles
Easier to deal with than trapezoids
Even if I relate more to the latter
Rather,
I climb a ladder
In a race to the top
When the top is death
I’m winning
And I all I want is to stop

Or review instead
Why and how
What was said
To warp
Twist
Alter the chemicals,
I’m my brain,
I ceaselessly embarrass me
Until all I want is to stop

I’ll write to you
I’ll sing for you
I’ll wish
I’ll dream
I’ll convince you
I’ll try
I’ll climb
And I’ll win sometime
And soon I’ll give up on you

All I want is to stop

 

 

I read an old email from a person I loved. A friend who, though troubled herself, put up with me at my most miserable. I was a wretched person to be around, yet, she kept my mind company. She was able to distract me long enough for the moment to pass harmlessly. All I saw was myself. I knew how bad I was and I couldn’t do anything about it.

I’m sorry.

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Stop

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