I’m sick of positivity. Positivity exists to make life easy and boring. To confirm what you already think. Uncertainty is difficult and admirable, it’s nothing to be scared of. Everything should be fought and won or fought and destroyed. We spend so much time patting ourselves on the back in hopes we don’t have to feel sad. We spend too much time being passive. Feel it. You’ve failed. You’ve messed up. Sometimes you’re an idiot. But every time you close your eyes you fall deeper into that idiocy. It no longer remains a temporary state. It becomes who you are. You only have so long to fight. You should spend it on something that matters (to you!).
I hate. I want to give up. I want to shut out the world. I have every negative emotion locked up in my brain waiting for an opportunity to be released. When the time is right I let them out. They belong here. They tell me when I fail and when I’m an idiot. They tell me that something needs to change and if I don’t act on that feeling, I will stay in my current place forever. I can lock all my negative thoughts up tighter and hope they never break free. I can hide from them. I can spend my life ignoring reality to feel a bit better for a short period of time.
I don’t want to.
And I want you to join me in not being satisfied. Hate your television. Hate the radio. Hate the movie theaters. Hate the newspapers. Hate the celebrities. Hate everything that gives you guidelines. Hate rules that exist for no reason. Hate what encourages you to avoid critical thinking. And then think. Think about the television shows you watch. Think about the music you listen to. Think about the movies you see. Think about where your news is coming from. Think about which celebrities are controlled by corporations to sell you self esteem and which love art. Think about the guidelines and the rules. Think about which make sense. Think about everything you decide to do. Because it all matters.
Don’t let belief in anything control you.
If you come to the conclusion that everything, or most things, you liked before are still valid, then love those things. There is nothing wrong with liking the radio or network sitcoms. The problem is the casual, blind consumption.
The truth is, I don’t care what you enjoy. That isn’t the point. You don’t have to like punk rock or indie rock or kids screaming every feeling that scared them to death. You don’t have to go to the shitty club downtown every weekend to hear 19-25 year olds play music as if they will die if they can’t get these noises, thoughts, and ideas out into the world. No matter how passionate they are, the music can still suck, or you can simply prefer another sound.
Just care. Please. Give a shit about what you consume.
PS – I was going to name this blog “Anger cum Consumption,” since I started mad and ending up linking it with consumerism (i.e. Latin meaning of cum). Maybe it would have gotten more hits, but it’s just begging to be misunderstood. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if that was a punk band from the 80’s.