I’ve often wondered what it’d be like to occupy the mind of someone who parks in two spaces, gets out of the car and thinks, “that’ll do.”
The first thing you say to someone in the morning should not be, “I had a weird memory of you existing last night.”
Upon waking, DO sing, “Do you want to build a snowman?” to the person sleeping next to you. It’s adorable.
DON’T tell other people you sing “Do you want to build a snowman? It doesn’t have to be a snowman… ok bye.” to your cat in the middle of the day while laying face down on the floor in your boxers. It’s less adorable.
It appears to me that many people are under the impression that when I say “I don’t understand what you meant by that.” I’m displaying a lack of understanding, but really I’m trying to politely tell them that they have not sufficiently explained what they mean. Or, more plainly put, the idea they are relating to me is bordering on being so wrong it doesn’t make logical sense (which is the truth in most cases). Saying something like that to a scientist is a pretty big burn.
The first time I say “right on” to a person I worry for a brief second that the person I’m talking to is a fan of early Anti-Flag and will guess the dismissive connotation. However, “right on” has become a part of my commonly called upon phrases and the sarcasm is no longer carried in those words when I use them. Oh, the unnecessary panic in my mind, no one listens to Anti-Flag. RIIIIIIGHT ON!
(In case you don’t know the song I’m referring to, which is likely, the chorus goes a little something like this, “‘RIGHT ON’ that’s the phrase, to the fucked up stupid things you say, we say ‘RIGHT ON!'” The song quotes actual things people said to them (ex. “Punk rock? Isn’t that the type of music where kids cut each other with razor blades and knives?”). It’s funny, especially to a 13 year old weirdo.)
I always miss the second ‘n’ in synonym. I know it’s there but I almost unfailingly miss hitting the key the second time. Manual dexterity isn’t what it should be.